Peace

I got to speak in church a couple of weeks ago and as always benefitted more than anyone else from the experience.  Posting it below:

Good afternoon!  It's great to speak today- I always get a little nervous but have really appreciated the opportunity to work on a talk.  It's fun that Curtis and I are both speaking today and we don't have any toddlers making it impossible for us to both be up here.  Appreciate our kids holding down the row.  :)  Just for fun I'll give a brief introduction of our family.  We have lived in this ward for the last 7 years.  It took us awhile to acclimate to Texas but we really love it here and especially love this congregation- you've become our family.  Curtis and I met through a mutual friend when I was at BYU and and he was at UBC.  I still have the journal entry from the weekend we met- something about meeting the coolest guy but we will probably never see each other again.  But here we are, 17 wonderful years and 4 kids later.  I thank Heavenly Father everyday for these 5 people in my life!  We think it might be official- we've been Texified.  Not sure if I could ever handle another icy Michigan or absurdly long Minnesota winter.  So we might be here to stay.  :)

Well Brother deGraaf didn't assign me a topic so choosing was sort of a struggle.  There were a few things I wanted to speak about but I kept coming back to the topic of "Personal Peace."  

1) Peace signs are popular as are one line slogans like "war is not the answer" and "coexist" It only takes a few clicks on your computer to see that we are no where near the lofty goal of world peace though.  This can be depressing but let's look at the scriptures.  Matthew 10:34 Chirst says "Think not that I am come to send peace on earth." D&c 1:35 says that peace shall be taken from the earth.  But Christ promises peace as the fruit of the spirit and he is called "the prince of  peace."

2) the peace that Christ offers is Personal peace and it is attainable in this world.  It's actually critical not just a perk. Personal peace is a deep abiding comfort and confidence in our Father's Plan and in knowing that Christ has overcome the world.  President Heber J. Grant described the Savior’s peace this way: “His peace will ease our suffering, bind up our broken hearts, blot out our hates, engender in our breasts a love of fellow men that will suffuse our souls with calm and happiness. I don't know about you but a soul suffused with calm and happiness sounds amazing. 

3) The world, as always, offers a counterfeit version: pleasure, money, power, luxury vacations, spa treatments and buying more stuff but ultimately these things do not bring lasting peace and they can even create new stresses in our lives.  

4) Peace through Christ is manifest through the Holy Ghost.  Helaman 5:30 describes it beautifully: Perfect voice of stillness, mild but piercing.  How long has it been since you've felt that voice?  There are things we can to do in order to hear and feel the peace I'm talking about:

~ slow down, we are so busy racing from one activity to another that we are making important phone calls while driving and eating and using sign language to prepare our kids for the daily schedule.  And aside from the obvious physical danger that you may experience on the freeways this hyper business can also be devastating to our souls.  We desperately need time to quietly meditate, pray and turn our hearts to our Father in Heaven.  Words like ponder, deliberate, reflect... have become almost extinct in a society that worships traits like smooth talking, decisive, witty and charismatic.  There has been a real shift in our culture as far as which qualities we admire in people.  

~ don't go a day without talking to Heavenly Father and reading his word.  You wouldn't think of having your family skip breakfast.  and lunch.  and dinner right? and spiritual nourishment is even more critical than physical nourishment.  There are so many dailies that we need to do but prayer and scripture study is SO much more important than homework or piano practice or even (gasp) brushing your teeth!! 

~ Keep the commandments,  In this there is safety, in this there is peace.  When we realize that the commandments are there to help us avoid suffering, contention, pain and guilt- it becomes much easier to want to keep them.  I've had several people remark about the word of wisdom and how it's odd that we are asked to abstain from alcohol when it is clear that alcohol was consumed in the scriptures.  My answer to that is probably that alcohol is not inherently evil but God knows more than we do and knows that in our day we will have more peace and security if we just avoid it. Think of the time and toll that sin takes on us.  If we for example stretch a truth a little or cheat or work out a financial arrangement in a way that we know is dishonest... Now we have that swirling around in our heads and we have to spend time rationalizing why we did it and maybe we spend some more time looking around at others are doing it even more so we can feel better... all of this is robbing our souls of the precious peace and confidence that comes from doing our best to keep the commandments and repenting quickly and fully when we mess up

~ Peace can come to us through good music, nature, time at the temple and time serving others.  Take time for these impt activities.  I wasn't sure what to speak on at first but came to church and we sang:  "Be Still my Soul." Then the next week it was "Where can i turn for peace?"  Music is one of the most powerful ways that God communicates to us!

5) The last thing I want to mention is that peace is possible, even admidst life's greatest storms.  I have watched my own mother suffer such pain through some of the choices and circumstances with her children.  I am blown away at the serenity that she is able to find and hold on to.  I'm not suggesting she isn't affected because she most definitely is, but her faith anchors her and affords her a kind of peace that the world simply is not able to provide.  No therapist or amount of time walking int the mountains or eating organic berries or even doing yoga (and I love yoga) can offer the peace I am talking about.  It is the still quiet comforting reminder that this is not our home.  That we are strangers here and our souls long to be with our Heavenly Family.  This peace reminds us that being on earth is a little like looking in a funhouse mirror.  It's distorted and things that seem really important aren't at all and trials that seem to go on and on will feel like a small moment when we have better perspective.  The peace I'm talking about reminds us that Jesus Christ overcame death and sin.  Christ made it very clear that he did not come to establish peace and in fact in the very time that his birth was being heralded by angels singing "Glory to God, Peace on Earth" Kind Herod was slaughtering innocent babies.  Christ assured his disciples that they would have tribulation in the world but He also promised His peace.  Testimony and part of one of my favorite poems by William Wordsworth:

Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting:
The Soul that rises with us, our life's Star,
Hath had elsewhere its setting,
And cometh from afar:
Not in entire forgetfulness,
And not in utter nakedness,
But trailing clouds of glory do we come
From God, who is our home

Happiness?

Happy 2013!  Can't believe another year is beginning.  I used to make long lists of goals each year and then spend months feeling guilty that I couldn't keep up with it all.  So this year I have one goal- stop using mean words.  Whether it's when I'm driving or reading the news or breaking up a brawl between my kids.  No more "moron, idiot, etc..."  Pathetic right?  I should've had this one down years ago!  But here goes.  Wish me luck!

I'm feeling strangely optimistic about the future right now.  Probably in part because of a book I've been reading.  It's called "Abundance" and the premise is that humans tend to focus on the negative and assume bad things are coming.  But if you really look at the technology and general good will that is out there you will actually feel quite optimistic about the future.  And I do.  There are so many good people in the world and we need to give them all a little more attention (and less to reality stars and criminals- b/c what's more depressing than those people!)

I hear a lot of talk about happiness and how we can get there.  I was talking this over with a good friend of mine recently and we both agreed that expectations have a huge impact on our happiness.  I came up with an analogy:

One day you are running around, super busy and barely have time to eat.  You finally make it home and know you will have to settle for a bowl of cereal.  But to your surprise, your family has cooked up some pasta and fresh parmesan and even a little steamed broccoli.  You are SO thankful and enjoy every bite of the delicious meal.

But then a few days later you are again busy with life and looking forward to mealtime b/c your family is having New York Strip Steaks with homemade mashed potatoes and steamed green beans!  Yum!  But when you get home you realize you forgot to thaw the steaks and it's too late to start the potatoes.  So you decide to whip up some pasta and parmesan and frozen broccoli.  Everyone is so disappointed and complains bitterly about the lame meal.

So... same exact meal but very different responses.  (I used these examples for my boys b/c we've had both situations happen and they "got it")  I think life is a lot of like this and if you are always expecting so much from everyone around you or just from life in general then you will probably spend a lot of time being disappointed.  It's a little bit reminiscent of my college roommates' and my "hell theory."  Came up with it when we all lived together and basically it meant that we would just expect hell and be pleasantly surprised if anything better happened.  ha!  Decided to give that one up after a few years b/c it seemed a little negative.  But there is some truth there.  When I talk to my boys I realize that they are literally expecting: fun, new toys, fun playdates, gametime, yummy food, fun movies..... EVERY DAY!!!  And sometimes I get pulled in and run around trying to make that happen for them.  wha?

Of course I do this too when I expect so much from friends, family, my husband, etc...  it's like I want everyday to just be amazing.  And not only is that never going to happed but I wouldn't want it to.  Someone posted this quote on facebook the other day and I remembered how much it touched me when I first heard it:

And I DON'T think the message here is to "settle."  But it's more to appreciate and focus on all that is good and enjoy small things.  Pulled out my "One Thousand Gifts" list again and started adding to it.  There is so much beauty and goodness all around.  I'm hoping to give it all lots more attention in 2013.

The Battle in Our Brains

Just had an awesome run with my bud Jen and as usual she directed me to some good reading. Our brains are so funny. I have noticed that when I get upset I head for the cupboard and then to the computer. Usually I find myself munching on nutella and checking email, blogs and facebook. It does distract me from whatever was ailing me but afterwards I often feel empty and regretful. Posting the article here, mostly so I'll have it at my fingertips.

The Battle In Our Brains by Catherine Arveseth

Several months ago I attended the Mormon Women Project Salon Event, at which I heard Tina Peterson speak. The title for her breakout session was, “Becoming a Deliberate Student of the Gospel.” Tina has a degree in Near Eastern Studies and has studied the Old and New Testament in their original languages from multiple sources including the Dead Sea Scrolls.

“That’s where you need to be,” I said to myself. So I chose her class. And by the end of the evening, it was Tina’s words that stayed with me most. They hung in my mind for weeks. She so revolutionized my study and thinking that, with her permission, I share what she taught here.

Tina first talked about the mechanics of effective scripture study. They were the standard “should-dos” until she got to #4.

1. Pray before you begin.

2. Read, cross-reference, immerse yourself in the texts.

3. Keep a notepad and pencil near you. Write down every impression that comes to you, without dismissing thoughts that may seem random or out of context.

4. Over time, look back at what you have written and search for patterns. Trends and themes will emerge. You will see what the Holy Ghost is trying to teach you.
Wow, I thought. I jot down notes, scribble in the margins, underline in various colors, but looking for patterns, themes, and messages over time? That hadn’t occurred to me.

Then Tina got serious, because we were short on time, and she said, “Now I’m going to tell you what I feel strongly you need to hear.” We were listening.
“The battle today, between Babylon and Zion, is happening between the synapses of our brains.”
(I’m no neurologist, but I’ve had enough physiology to know that synapses are how our brains process messages. They are crucial to the biological computation of perception and thought.)

Tina explained that in this information age when messages, images, and information are coming at us almost faster than we can receive them, our brains are creating new neural pathways to accommodate the input. The first time we see an image on a screen (we’re not talking about pornography here, although it does apply) – like a blog page, a news feed, texts, or Facebook – our brain creates a new neural pathway to process that image. It is the same with new sounds or any stimuli to the senses, but let’s use the visual image for this discussion.

Input always travels the path of least resistance. So the second time we see the new image, it will travel the same route. And before long, the new neural pathway has been stimulated enough to “desire” of itself continued activation. A habit is born.
After that, when the brain is not currently occupied, we long for that image. That is why we constantly check our phones or email. That is why, when we have a free moment, we click onto a favorite blog, check Facebook, and tweets, or any other source of input we frequent. Without realizing it, we have begun to crave these places of input, hunger for them, to the point where they can surreptitiously dominate our time.

Tina said the only way to counterbalance this is with ancient and modern scripture. We must expose our brains repeatedly to the image or sound of God’s words. Printed, glowing on the page, read aloud, or discussed with friends. That is where God’s Spirit lives. It is where His mind and will can rise out of the texts we read or the conversations we share, and filter into our lives, allowing revelation to move through us.

Satan knows the physiology of the brain. He knows if he can encourage overstimulation through an overload of mundane or technical information, he can increase the odds that we will not seek more spiritual sources for input, thus making scripture study tedious.

Recent studies have also shown that when our minds are over-stimulated, we begin to make decisions without considering the consequences. Much of the time, these quick decisions are not the best ones for us. An abundance of “information” prompts reactionary responses and elevates feelings of anxiety. All of this distracts us from the peace the Lord offers through His Word, and deprives us of much needed pondering time – time when our minds can reinforce more spiritual pathways.
Then Tina said this,

“Your time with the Word of the Lord is your personal Urim and Thummim. It is here that God will speak to you. Frequent the scriptures often enough that your brain craves that kind of input – that your day feels incomplete without it.”
Have you been there? That place of truly feasting on God’s word? I have. And I’m sure you have too. I love how Jeremiah describes it.

“Thy words were found, and I did eat them; and thy word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of mine heart” (Jeremiah 15:16).“Thy words were found, and I did eat them; and thy word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of mine heart” (Jeremia
I have also been in that place where I don’t crave the scriptures, because my reading is sporadic, even neglectful. And in retrospect, I can see I have filled my precious time with things that matter much less.

After hearing Tina talk, I realized I can’t afford to neglect my time in the scriptures.I can’t risk being a voice to my children, my friends, or the Relief Society sisters I teach, if I am not partaking regularly of God’s word. Time with the word of the Lord is its own system of checks and balances for me. It’s how the Lord rights me, keeps me on course.

Naturally, the sources of input mentioned here are not bad things. But Tina’s words have helped me make a conscious effort to open my scriptures each day before computer time, reading any other book, or another leisurely activity.I have started recording impressions. And it is astounding the level of happy confidence I have felt. I am still working on the habit, but I’m getting better at hearing as I go. “The words of the Lord are pure words, said the Psalmist, and I am discovering that within them we can see things “as they really are and as they really will be” (Jacob 4:13).