Your beautiful Mind

I try to be open minded about most things.  I get that people do things differently and have different ideas of fun, good, interesting.  Now for the but.  And there is one.  I just see zero benefit to the horror movie genre.  My 14 year old asked if he could see "It" the other day.  I am actually quite certain he has no interest in seeing it and he just wanted to see what I would say.  But he did tell me that all of his friends at school have seen it.  Seriously.  What is wrong with people?  I'm gonna judge hard on this one.  There can be no benefit to watching hours of "entertainment" about sociopaths who torture and kill.  Zero.  None.
I'm so thankful that early on in our marriage both Curtis and I agreed that we had no interest in scary movies.  We love movies- it's so fun to escape in that way.  I love a good sci-fi, mystery, spy action, comedy and of course romance.  I don't know what I would do if Curtis was one of those guys who wanted to rent "Paranormal" or "Saw."  We have made a point of talking to our kids about this a lot and I appreciate his back up.  He says straight up "those movies scare me" (which is just powerful coming from a manly man like Curtis).  And I tell the kids that I sincerely believe those movies are straight from Satan, just like church lady on SNL said!  I saw a few of those movies as a teenager (always at a friend's house- who's parents were renting those for us?!?) and literally 20 years later there are scenes from them that I can still remember clearly.  I'm just so grateful that I learned pretty quickly to get up and leave and didn't see very many.  
We've had lots of talks in our family about how precious your mind is.  And how truly powerful images are.  My mom would often ask me to think about the messages in movies, books and music.  At the time I was just annoyed but her words stuck and to this day I find myself analyzing what is truly being portrayed, encouraged and promoted in entertainment.  In my opinion, horror movies have done too much to normalize sociopathic behavior, or at least to make it entertaining.  We should listen to the genre name and be "horrified."  I haven't even mentioned all the demonic possession type movies.  I avoid those for a different reason.  Those movies invite evil into your life, plain and simple.  I believe there is an adversary and he has spirits that follow him.  Why would I knowingly invite that into my life?  

I'm so thankful for the standards for the youth of our church.  I need them as reminder in my adult life!  This line is instructive:

"Satan uses media to deceive you by making what is wrong and evil look normal, humorous, or exciting. He tries to mislead you into thinking that breaking God’s commandments is acceptable and has no negative consequences for you or others. Do not attend, view, or participate in anything that is vulgar, immoral, violent, or pornographic in any way. Do not participate in anything that presents immorality or violence as acceptable. Have the courage to walk out of a movie, change your music, or turn off a computer, television, or mobile device if what you see or hear drives away the Spirit."

I know that many people think Stephen King is a genius.  Sorry (not sorry) I think he's a creep.  

Equality

Any mom knows that there are a couple of problems with making equality your primary focus.  First of all, it's impossible because each individual is different.  What works with one child, fails miserably with another.  Second, even as an involved, on the ground and loving parent, it's just so difficult to manage the task of keeping everything equal.  Trust me, I've tried.  Two things happen:

Massive contention.  My kids see what I am trying to do and suddenly they are looking constantly to see what the other kid got and how they are measuring up.  Lots of finger pointing and fighting ensues.

Even worse, the kids immediately resort to entitlement behavior.  Meaning, they wait around for the great equalizer (me) to fix any inequity they see.  And trust me, they start to see it everywhere.  Lots of whining and unhappiness ensues.

I'm certainly not suggesting that general equity isn't healthy and desirable in any society.  Everyone should be treated fairly by others, regardless of their race, gender, religion, status... and I believe the USA has largely achieved this!   But if equity is the whole focus, if this becomes my "cause" things get pretty hazy.

I love being a Mormon and really studying Christ's words and the words of our apostles and prophet today.  In studying Jesus Christ's life, I noticed something interesting.  He wasn't an activist.  He didn't incent the Jews to rise up against their oppressors.  He saw inequity everywhere he went: The way the Jews treated the Samaritans, the way women, the poor and sick were treated generally.  But did use his power and influence to demand change?  Not at all.  In fact that's part of the reason so many of the Jews couldn't accept him as the Messiah.  He offered no deliverance from their oppressors.  They wanted fire and justice!  And this wasn't an unreasonable thing to want.  Things were decidedly unfair and unequal in Israel at that time.

But Christ didn't organize any marches or send around petitions or encourage violent rebellion (or peaceful rebellion for that matter).  Instead, he spent a significant amount of effort showing us the value of each person on this earth.  He chose simple, uneducated and poor men to be his apostles.  The first person he ever declared his divinity to was.... drum roll... a woman.  A Samaritan woman.  Probably pretty much the lowest on the society totem pole.  Christ spent his time with publicans, "sinners" (of course we are all imperfect but I think he was hanging out with known and unrepentant sinners) and those who were unpopular.  One of my favorite stories in the New Testiment is about Zacheus.  I love this story because it is so applicable to everyone.  Zacheus was not well liked.  He was a tax collector, he was Jewish but worked closely enough with the Romans that the Jews resented him.  He was short, probably not the coolest guy in the room.  And Jesus walked past all the people who were more attractive, maybe more pleasant or influential and invited Zacheus for supper.

Jesus didn't just show us how to make the world better, he said it.  Clearly.  "He who is greatest among you shall be your servant."  We've all heard this so many times but do we really get it?  Your status, your success, your looks, your money, your piousness... none of it matters in the end.

How about more time reflecting on our responsibilities and less time thinking about rights?  We do happen to live in the THE MOST FREE society on earth.  Are there racists here?  Yep, mostly because there are humans here and they tend to do that.  Maybe I'm a Pollyanna to the end but I believe most Americans don't care where you are from or what color your skin is or who you are sleeping with.  Most Americans will judge you on the content of your character.   And the constant drumbeat of "It's not fair" is probably having the opposite effect of it's intent.

Doctor Dilemma

So do I go with the pediatricians who are uber fast and convenient or the docs I actually like? Arrghh!!

I've been with Dr. Lentsch for 3 years now and they are SO efficient. I am in and out in 20-30 minutes EVERY time I go. Amazing. They can also squeeze you in, like if you call at 3:30pm on a weekeday they will say, "How fast can you get here?" and you don't have to wait until morning with your sick kiddo.

BUT... I am ALWAYS stressed out by my visits to that office. I can't really explain it other than to say the docs (the practice has grown and there are several new peds) make me feel like they are doing me a huge favor in seeing my child and that they are mildly disappointed in my parenting efforts. Maybe it's because I don't follow the vaccine schedule exactly. There are a couple we don't get but mostly I just try to spread them out a little bit more. I'm sure the nurses and docs look at this as a major offense. I'm also not a fan of the flu vaccine (dangerous and ineffective? no thanks). Oh and I breastfeed past a year. This is really what prompted me to want to find a new pediatrician. At Lucy's 12, 15 and 18 month checkups they were pretty much telling me to wean her. I left each visit almost in tears.

So I decided to check out a new pediatrican. Found one that has 8 kids of her own and I was sold. She was very chill and suprise! I left her office not feeling terrible. The downside: I've now been to her office 4 times and every visit takes 1 1/2 to 2 hours!!!! Arghh.

I called up my old doc yesterday to see if they might squeeze me in (Jonah had strep) and in the course of our discussion she asked why I had gone to a new doc. I told her that I didn't feel like her staff supported my decisions as a mom, particularly breastfeeding and she told me.... that she and her staff do discourage breastfeeding after 15 months because of the emotional problems it causes. Say what?!?

As is always the case when I am completely baffled I didn't say what I wanted to. In fact I just said, "Well it's a moot point because Lucy is weaned now." But seriously, emotional problems??? I just don't know what to say. Maybe she's right. I mean actually nursing Lucy past a year here in Texas has been hell. There may be no more uncomfortable situation that a nursing toddler at a football game in Katy, Texas. Maybe she meant the emotional problems the mother experiences!!

Anyway, this was NOT meant to be a breastfeeding rant but I am really struggling with whether I should go to the nicer pediatrican who makes me wait or stick with the lame docs who don't waste my time! Wish I could have the best of both...

Mommy Blogs

My sister forwarded this article from salon.com to me a few days ago. I still can't decide exactly what I think. The author is a self described feminist atheist... who's secret habit is reading blogs by LDS moms.

Read it if you're interested. As a stay-at-home LDS woman who happens to have a blog, all I can say is:

1) I blog because it's an easy way to keep my super spread out family in the know

2) I can print out my blogs at the end of each year and have a sort of memory book, which is cool

3) I LOVE to see beautiful photographs of food, paintings, quilts, etc... and so I've posted some of my own in the hope of inspiring other people

4) Every now and again I have something to say and this is as a good a forum as any

Most of the women I know who have blogs do it for similar reasons. We're not trying to make our lives look easy and glossy. BUT... I'll just speak for myself here: Mostly I'm a pretty happy person and that's probably gonna come through on my blog. Maybe it's just my nature and I'd be happy in communist Cuba. All I can say is that:

1) I am totally in love with my imperfect husband

2) I adore my messy, foul mouthed children,

3) I believe I am one of God's children, that Jesus Christ is my savior and that the Holy Spirit comforts/inspires me and

4)I get a lot of joy from the above and am so thankful I can devote my energy to all of them

I haven't read much from the blogs listed in the salon article and I just quickly skimmed through each of them. The only one I will look at again is "natthefatrat." Her writing cracks me up- she totally reminds me of pioneer woman. The other blogs almost instantly turned me off, WAY too many pics of the authors- it all felt a little too narcissistic for my tastes.

Maybe I'm bristling b/c I hate being pigeonholed, even if it's in a sort of complementary way. It's irritating to feel like you are being represented by someone you didn't vote for. I know many LDS women and they are ALL so different. Oh and for the record, I don't arrange flowers all day. Actually I don't arrange flowers at all- I'm more of a plant person. (I like what my sister Em had to say too)

And now for a picture of one of my many junk drawers, just so you know I'm "keepin'it ree-o"

PS: The pic at the top of this post is the price I paid for writing this and yes, that's bread dough. eeeeww!