Swimmania

Whew! Made it though swim season.  This year seemed crazier than usual, probably because all four kids swam and none of their practice times were combined.  Isaac's soccer team also made it to the playoffs which extended his season by two weeks.  We also got a stomach virus six times during April and May- ridiculous!!

So why do we participate in this crazy busy sport with its 5 hour meets in the blazing texas heat? I actually need to answer this question for myself so I'll sign up again next year :)

1) swimming is a fantastic sport!  It's a lifelong sport, something you can do when old or pregnant and something we can do almost year round here in texas.  I also love that my kids are super confident swimmers- I definitely did not have their skills as a kid.  Or today for that matter

2) I love our team.  We are the pirates and we meet at a swim club.  We have a bunch of church friends on the team, which is so fun bc we are all too busy to chat at church so now we get to hang out on a regular basis.  I also absolutely adore the other team members.  So many amazing and strong families.  Families with kids that I want my kids to hang out with.

3) The kids adore our coach! And our parent volunteers are the bomb!

4) Time at the pool = time not playing video games

5) We get to dress up like pirates

6) We dance

It's definitely got its trials as does any organization that relies heavily on volunteers.  It's easy to get upset when your child is discouraged by their times or they got left out of a relay or another swimmer left early leaving a relay short... Lots of ways to get frustrated on swim team.  But it's also a great opportunity to learn patience and to serve and give.  Of course my favorite part is working with the swimmers.  I love getting to know this terrific group of kiddos!

Too fair?

So I was at the kid's school parties recently. Each party was an hour long and featured a craft, game and snack. All very cute and well executed. One of the games was a donut eating contest. Two sticky glazed donuts were hanging from strings and the kids competed two at at time to see who could eat theirs first. In my second graders' class, all the kids started chanting one of the kids' name. As they got louder I found myself feeling anxious for the other child competing. Obviously the teacher did too because after that she assigned each contestant a side of the room to be their cheering section. I breathed a sigh of relief.


But later I was thinking about it and wondered if the micromanaging of kid's interactions has gone a bit overboard. It feels like adults are intervening all the time so that everything is perfectly even and fair and everybody wins. I mean, it totally bugs me that my kids get a trophy everytime we play a sport. Seriously why do I need all these huge, dust collecting weapons of death (they all have pointed tops) sitting on top of our dressers? And really, isn't the trophy for when you actually win? Your reward for playing is that you got to play!


But I do see where the parents and coaches are coming from. I remember keenly that feeling of being the loser when I was a kid. And I didn't like it. My natural instinct is to protect my kids from those experiences. But maybe I turned out to be the awesome adult that I am because of those experiences! :O And maybe we're sending kids the wrong message when we say things like "If you had fun, then you won!" This is all on my mind because I read an excerpt from the book "Nurture Shock" recently and it stuck with me. One of the points that the author makes is that praise can actually encourage children to underperform. Seems counter intuitive at first but I think I actually agree. It's disingenuous to tell everyone that they won. Tell them they worked hard and you're impressed with their effort, tenacity and staying power and they will feel empowered to keep on trying.

Hmmm, not exactly sure where I am on this issue because I don't know if I can stop myself from intervening when I hear the words "It's not fair!" Sometimes I wonder if the whole helicopter parent model is going to blow up in our faces...