But later I was thinking about it and wondered if the micromanaging of kid's interactions has gone a bit overboard. It feels like adults are intervening all the time so that everything is perfectly even and fair and everybody wins. I mean, it totally bugs me that my kids get a trophy everytime we play a sport. Seriously why do I need all these huge, dust collecting weapons of death (they all have pointed tops) sitting on top of our dressers? And really, isn't the trophy for when you actually win? Your reward for playing is that you got to play!
But I do see where the parents and coaches are coming from. I remember keenly that feeling of being the loser when I was a kid. And I didn't like it. My natural instinct is to protect my kids from those experiences. But maybe I turned out to be the awesome adult that I am because of those experiences! :O And maybe we're sending kids the wrong message when we say things like "If you had fun, then you won!" This is all on my mind because I read an excerpt from the book "Nurture Shock" recently and it stuck with me. One of the points that the author makes is that praise can actually encourage children to underperform. Seems counter intuitive at first but I think I actually agree. It's disingenuous to tell everyone that they won. Tell them they worked hard and you're impressed with their effort, tenacity and staying power and they will feel empowered to keep on trying.
Hmmm, not exactly sure where I am on this issue because I don't know if I can stop myself from intervening when I hear the words "It's not fair!" Sometimes I wonder if the whole helicopter parent model is going to blow up in our faces...
